01-10-14 15:00 – Source: Het Parool
Leonoor Peacock in 2008 © Het Parool
Interview
In 2012 Gijs Groenteman interviewed the now deceased actress Leonoor Pauw (1956-2013). When she told me she had no time to lose. Her film ‘brittle’, which can be seen from this week, was off before she died themselves. Read the interview from the PS of the Week back
.
In 1997, the film ‘Broos’ by Mijke de Jong!; five sisters who jubileumact their parents are preparing. That year they won the five actresses shared a Golden Calf. Now four of them – Adelheid Roosen, Marnie Blok, Lieneke le Roux and Leonoor Peacock – busy with the film more brittle with Mijke de Jong. One of the sisters, Mouse, is the central figure. For she has cancer and does not have long to live. Like Leonoor Peacock, the actress who plays her. Peacock has two daughters aged 13 and 17 years, lives with actor George van Houts in an impressive light house on IJburg, overlooking the water
“When I became ill, the other actresses said immediately.: “Let’s make a movie about.” But I did not want when I was sick. But later, when the weather was a little better, and Adelheid Mijke come back to me with this question. I saw what was happening with me, and thought that could be a very nice document; it’s good to say about it. “something
“I also think it is good for people with cancer to continue to. Anyway underway I would highly recommend it. It is quite shocking when stopped at once your life. You feel redundant. And anyway that’s something I find very difficult. At the moment I feel superfluous to me, I have just come into action. “
Did you have money for a movie?
” Nope. We just started recording. Those first recordings are fascinating. There was so much out of me. It had to look like. If you receive such a notice, you come in several phases. At first I was in shock, and then I thought I had to tell you how life should be lived. Everyone As I stood at the bakery, I’m going to tell that afbakoven was in the wrong place. If I saw jogging, Herman Koch over the bridge, I was gonna call out his second book was less than his first. By friends, I said she once had to break up. Finally A man holding his puppy worriedly, I went pedantic tell you that it was not so, and that he was on course. ”
“It went on and on, I had not even watched. Tell the whole day in the world how fed up. I told this to the women, and she found it hilarious. So we go a scene of record, which is pure comedy. “
How did you discover that you were sick?
” I got less and less breath, and I did not understand why. Seven years ago I had already had cancer, but not once it is shot through my head that it could be back. Squeamish was a mystery to me, I even thought I was depressed. “
That disease was gone out of your mind?
” I was declared cured. My doctor also did not connect, but later turned out my lungs are full. Tumors There was four liters tumor moisture. The next day they are going to refueling, for a moment it was like I was reborn. But then it started again. “
Was it immediately clear that you would not be?
better” Yes. How long I had, that the doctor could not tell me. But I wanted to clarify. At my elementary school in De Bilt was a boy, Emiel Rutgers, whose mother was deceased from cancer. He then said: “I will be the best cancer specialist in the Netherlands.” And that has also grown. I thought, if I have to go to someone, it’s him. He made time for me, all my medical records checked, and said, “If you’re lucky, you get two years’
How long ago was that .?
“I know half years now it’s back. Well, that time, I do not believe that anymore. Maybe I’ll talk about five years. That is the fickle, the capricious of that disease. And that makes it very difficult for people who have metastatic cancer, like me, in order to deal with it. Your life comes at once – bam – to a halt. The future, no longer know you. Or do not you know. Because then you get every time but disappointed in your plans. But the weird thing is, everyone lives with a future, you’re only doing what you tomorrow, next week, will do ‘next month.
“Sometimes overtakes me feel: delicious, I need not come to dinner to sit like a demented elderly behind such a dirty plate. Of course I am sometimes angry, damn, I do not see my children grow up. But it makes no sense, because it’s just not happening. Then you come to the profound realization that life is not doable. A lot of people think that life is sending. But so that just does not work. I have to learn to deal with the things that I have not wanted. “
You have now set up a foundation, Uninhibited Sharing.
” I want other artists with cancer also give the opportunity to shape. their disease process I have established the foundation because, literally, uninhibited want to share. This has happened to me, I’m going to do something with that too. May find that things do in life, but that you also can take advantage of it. Because what my children Because if you are so ill, shift your attention to the things that really matter. Maybe, I sometimes think, I should be grateful that I got to my death toeleven. So aware
How did the first shooting days of ‘brittle’, you had a script or plan
‘Nothing at all. I told him about what I experienced, what concerned me. I have Ghanaian cleaners immediately dived into the grass and began to pray. I thought that was special. We just had a recording of three hundred Ghanaians in a church, Pentecost Revival Church in Amsterdam Southeast. Prayer, singing, dancing, tears and love of unprecedented intensity. We Westerners can no longer possible. “
But those first shots of you were just talking to each other?
” Yes. In this room. I was telling. They asked questions. Adelheid is beautiful, penetrating questions. That you think I should answer that actually
And you guys are completely in your role
? “We slipped easily again?. Those characters are also, of course, close to ourselves. It was obvious. I’ve seen the first forty minutes mounted. I’ve never seen such stuff before. “
” I’ll tell you about a scene. At one point I had a chemo that worked out well for me through chemo, I look back on a good year. But at one point I was getting muggy. I was admitted to the hospital; it turned out that all my chemo pulmonary vessels destroying and that they therefore had to stop immediately with. That was a dramatic statement for me. The conversation with my oncologist, in which he first told me what the situation was in fact, we have also included. It is a beautiful, but played scene: we’re four of waiting, the oncologist calls me by my movie name and we sit in that tiny room speak. Marnie, I Adelheid, Lieneke. “
You will get as your character, Mouse, hear? Your health
” Yes. You see me negotiate with him as you do as a patient with your doctor: “What do we do now?” Marnie and asks, from her role very directly: “Say, when are they now dead?” And Adelheid entirely on her way, “Mr. oncologist, there is fixed a whole warehouse with medications ready, but you do not use because the old to still have!” Lieneke, which sits just cry. All this from our film roles. And the doctor has to deal with those four women. ”
“It’s a very exciting scene. Because you can see exactly where it should be about in the film: the struggle of all. The patient, bystanders, the doctor. It is a scene that you can not imagine, and you can not record when it would not be. Actually going on with such intensity That makes it difficult to record, but also very exciting. “
Do you see against the shooting days on?
‘That depends on the subject.”
I can imagine that you are going to take over the funeral, a scene. Is that difficult?
“We have a scene recorded on my chest. Beforehand I had said, “Whatever happens, that box does not come in the house.” We have therefore included elsewhere in IJburg, in the wind. But the cart with the coffin got stuck, and my husband George had come with his big car to pull. ‘M apart And when one of my children came along. I was shocked. But they picked up the lid and took it from slipping off the hills. So good. She thought it was mighty fine. Alas, it is also fine so I thought. It started raining very hard and then had that box anyway just to see the door come to be. Under the roof Was surely another awkward moment, a chest at your door. “
Do you always have the energy to invent things, to start creating?
“Look, if I’d let the fact I was sitting in sackcloth and ashes. For as much love, devotion and creativity I get from others to make that movie, the essence is that I have to stand all alone through this process. That’s why I take a journal with a Flip Camera. I share a lot with my sisters in the film, but the most difficult things I record. Itself, on my own, Because they are almost inseparable. As you eventually die alone. I am very much aware that that will happen. The road to it I want to have on hand and shaping, so I and the others are still experiencing some pleasure. “
That diary, knowing that panic or sorrow?
Both. And intense loneliness, which I try to show. It is also about physical things. My body, you do not see it because it is hidden under clothes, is one big scar. “
Do you know where it should go with the film?
‘We there with a lot of enthusiasm and have started without money. Meanwhile we have received money from the VPRO, the CoBo Fund and the Film Fund. That’s fine, but it also creates expectations, because now we will at the end of the ride anyway to deliver. A full feature film So we invented a form allowing the individual scenes that we have included in a story fit. But I do not know how far I will go. Or I’ll go. Until the hole
What is the hole?
“I’m dying. That decision I slide for me, because I’m not sure I that if it is so far, want to be like my character Mouse in the film. I must not think at this time. The idea of it also changes still in my head, I constantly invent other end scenes. For me, the big question remains: why? I wish there was a God to whom I could ask what we women have done, why do so many women get this disease incorrectly. Have I been too ambitious? Too early went on the pill? I should not drink that school
It seems to me difficult to make where you do not know which end you work a movie.
“That’s it too. We may be doing another year, or two years, it may be tomorrow ended. I am starting again to a heavy chemo, if it is not successful, we must make haste. Whether it is what it is today. But that is exactly what we show you ever, have to make choices. Capricious in that process of the disease, There comes a time when I lie in bed and do not come out come. I start to the final act. I’m afraid ‘
then Plays feel it: the film must be finished .
. “That I do not want to play. Then the pressure is so great. “
But such a film is also something very real, I can imagine you that anyway to take off.
How it works, of course. When my father was ill, he invented ever new reasons not to die. Then there was another child to marry, if anyone was pregnant. That has kept him very long on the leg. Then a man apparently quite strong, you can then decide not to go. Until you’re really quite ‘
Actually, you currently have two lives: one. In real life and one in the film
. “This is liberating. Because after a day of filming I lie exhausted but deeply satisfied with a big smile on bed. Satisfied with what happened on that day, which we all shared. What we have discovered. “
You are creating the ultimate work of art.
” But it is also very scary. For myself, for others too. It touches very deeply. “
It seems to me an impressive way to take.
farewell ‘I think just so hard, I take more and more farewell . I danced quite like, here we have a scene recorded. In the studio, you see me salsa dancing, but physically I can not do it anymore. So basically you see me, quite literally suffocate. It hurt so much. I could also record only once. Insufferable. At the very end you still see myself sit up with a last bit of energy, and then, crook, break that body. It is a beautiful scene. But very difficult to see again. It was my farewell dance. It is a scene that I can look back. “Barely
On the one hand you are filled with grief because you can not dance, on the other hand with satisfaction because you have not included a wonderful scene .
“So we make that movie now. And yes, that is my life now
More info on the film ‘brittle’ and the Foundation Uninhibited Line:. Www.brozer.nl
(By: Gijs Groenteman)
No comments:
Post a Comment